黑料社

Dear Dana, it鈥檚 OK if you don鈥檛 understand trans issues (Opinion)

Alexander Teh in an undated photo. Photo: Alexander Teh
Alexander Teh in an undated photo. Photo: Alexander Teh

Editor’s Note: 黑料社 is committed to publishing a variety of viewpoints, particularly those underrepresented in Singaporean media. This op-ed was submitted by a transgender Chinese-Singapore resident in response to the recent publication of an opinion piece that assailed transgenderism as a way to attack Singapore鈥檚 supposed 鈥榳oke cancel mobs.鈥

Dear Dana,聽

When I read your recent contribution to the Gen Y Speaks column, in which you attempted to 鈥渃ancel鈥 the so-called 鈥渃ancel culture,鈥 I thought, hey, I agree.

I know what it鈥檚 like to be canceled. In my case, it was when my best friend expressed his utter disdain for my illiteracy in the Pokemon universe; and when I confessed to some other friends that I didn鈥檛 like the vegan cupcakes they thought were the best thing ever.

I get what you were trying to say. Sometimes, we can be too quick to 鈥渃ancel鈥 a person who expresses their ignorance or doesn鈥檛 agree with our views. We don鈥檛 give them the freedom to explain why they haven鈥檛 educated themselves or refuse to agree with us. We write them off for not being on the same level as us, and we refuse to engage.聽

That being said, I would be lying if I said that I wasn鈥檛 disappointed at the way you had illustrated your views about the 鈥渨oke鈥 movement using the trans community as an example. Along with the many hurtful comments in past articles and videos featuring trans people in Singapore, this was another reminder that there are people my age who also believe that issues regarding the marginalized community, in this case, trans people, can be used to prove a point.聽

It鈥檚 OK if you, as a non-trans person, don鈥檛 understand trans issues. I mean, how can you? Just like I, as a man, will never understand what it鈥檚 like to be a woman, I also don鈥檛 expect you to be able to fully comprehend my 鈥渢rans experience.鈥澛

But a part of what makes us unique as humans is our ability to express respect and compassion to others. Just because you don鈥檛 know or understand certain issues, it doesn鈥檛 mean that you should blame the people who experience them.聽

Perhaps, part of the reason why you feel that you can鈥檛 even ask questions about trans people and what we go through is that you know, in some way or another, that there are other ways to find out. Maybe you don鈥檛 feel like you can express your ignorance online because you know that there are frustrated trans people and allies out there, and the reason for our frustration is being treated like we should be solely responsible for non-trans people鈥檚 learning.聽

We are not that different, you and I. I am also a Gen Y person who grew up with the Internet. I鈥檝e used it for many frivolous things, like researching the evolution of Charmander and how to make the ultimate non-vegan baked goods. But I鈥檝e also used it to educate myself on issues that I don鈥檛 know much about. Search engines were invented for a reason, so why not use them to our advantage?聽

You are right 鈥 not all of us are 鈥渨oke,鈥 according to the way you define the term. Let鈥檚 reframe the way we see it, then! 鈥淲oke-ness鈥 shouldn鈥檛 be determined just by how much a person knows or whether they agree on certain issues, but also how willing someone is to admit their ignorance and to take the initiative to fix that – whether it鈥檚 by doing their own research or by asking respectful questions.聽

Speaking of respectful questions, I also read that you鈥檇 like to hear from a trans person about what they think about trans rights and transphobia. If you鈥檇 like, I鈥檒l be happy to chat with you about my personal experience living as a trans person in Singapore. As a Chinese trans man, I hold a certain privilege and definitely don鈥檛 represent the whole community, but I can also reach out to fellow trans community members and leaders who may also be willing to have a conversation with you, sans pitchforks.聽

So, Dana, I hope you know that you aren鈥檛 being 鈥渃anceled.鈥 Nobody expects you to be 鈥渉ella woke,鈥 but we do encourage you to take charge of your own education. The trans community will not be your human encyclopedia, but if or when you decide to start your learning journey, some of us will be happy to guide you.聽

And don鈥檛 worry 鈥 if we ever meet, I鈥檒l leave photos of my post-op body at home.聽

Sincerely,

Alex (he/him)

Alexander Teh is a 25-year-old employee at , a community-based nonprofit working with LGBTQ+ individuals, couples, and families in Singapore since 1999.




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